She's gonna walk around and drink some more.

"Local Man Ruins Everything"

New Paltz! Holy shit! I live in Rosendale, right down the road! Go see movies there, if you haven't already. I go to school in NYC, otherwise I would show you everything cool in the area. Because there is cool stuff, even if there may not seem to be.

Kyle, is it Ithaca? It's Ithaca, isn't it.

I have a pretty high tolerance for assholes, but this guy really bothers me. I left a Subtle show one time because he was getting on my nerves so badly. Insulting the crowd, insulting other bands for no apparent reason. He's obviously got some kind of chip on his shoulder, I guess due to his lack of commercial success…

Chapelle's Show
Chappelle's Show. I quote Chappelle's Show probably three times a day every day. Whenever I hear the word "juice," I cannot refrain from saying "that was a good one!"
Also, the leprechaun in Mobile video. Furthermore, the "Pay It Forward" MYOF entry. Really, profanity at unexpected moments is the…

It's 4:44 in the AM, and you're watching "Perspectives." I'm your host, Lionel Osbourne, and my guest tonight is Abdul Kareem Gaines. He's the founder of the Brotherhood for Responsible Brothers Who Are Fathers, he attended the Million Man March, and his son is dead.

I was going to say Norm Macdonald talk show appearances, especially that one, because of all these tourist retards taking pictures of this restaurant.

Also, yes, but you didn't go far enough: "THE PHONE, THE PHONE, WHERE'S THE FUCKING PHONE?!?!"

I need parsley…nevermind.

The funny thing about Sprewell needing to feed his family is that his house was recently repossessed. The man was not kidding.

I don't go to art school, but I live in a dorm with people who do. They don't listen to music/go to parties/appreciate shit like this, but they are a bunch of idiots who like other stupid shit. I hear Britney Spears every day, and have to listen to people quoting "Family Guy" every time I go into the lounge. Art…

This is not the worst idea I've ever heard,
but it's close. Where's the synergy? CBS is out of the music business, right?

T.S. Faill..iot?

Art Garfunkel's Jewfro
is fake. Or, at least it is now. Garfunkel once spoke at my high school for community service after he was arrested for marijuana possession twice in the same county. The only cool thing he did was walk in bald, point at the Simon & Garfunkel reunion tour DVD that was playing and say, "that's a…

Dennis Rodman shooting?
Yeah right. He would still only average 5 points a game playing against dwarfs.

Yeah right
Like I'm gonna tell you my REAL fake band names. They're way too good to offer up to theft.

"Sign O' the Times?" There are a few questionable songs, but it's still mostly excellent. The diversity of it makes up for the duds.

neil young
Just about one hour ago, I had to defend Neil Young. Neil Young! I need new friends. However, I more frequently find myself defending Brand New, who are one of the most ambitious and thoughtful bands of the decade. They almost single-handedly keep contemporary emo from being a disdainful genre. Sorry, but…

When the wind blows hard and the sky is black,
Ducks Fly Together!