Didn't Bond become Scottish retroactively because of Connery?

That's too good for him. I like "Raped to death by a pack of elephants."

You accuse people of racism then attempt to insult me by implying I'm a woman. Talk about mixed messages.

First world problems, amiright broseph?

There's a "Perry/Cruz '16" bumper sicker.

No, because the federal government didn't step in and prevent him from stabbing that man.

I'd imagine that's a sentiment shared by anyone who actually watched the Screech sex tape.

The bars are the amusement park.

Wisconsin's version of "Give us this day our daily bread"?

The "Ganja Plantation Tour" ends with your loved ones begging the American embassy to just find your remains already so they can have some closure.

I hope she marries a man with the surname of Wang, and uses a hyphenate.

Sad but true.

Deadwood and Carnival would like to have some words with you.

Nazi's AND Commies. Quite versatile.

I was going to point out that they buried the lede with Obama and the RNC being on the same side of an issue. My fainting couch came in handy.

She's had the vapors since learning Ziva left NCIS.

I see what you're doing. Removing Christ from Christmas and replacing him with Malcom X. Just wait until Hannity hears about this!

The estate of Marvin Gaye begs to differ.

Now's not the time for tasteless jokes.

But now the publisher has an ironclad excuse if the book doesn't sell.