They're made of capon testicles, actually.

I'm curious how a chicken pasta dish could reach 2410 calories. Fried chicken and a sauce with two sticks of butter?

He's now lying in state as a chainsaw sculpture.

Well, if there's a wildly specific fetish for that, there's one very happy camper somewhere.

Be quiet and enjoy the movie. It has Tom Berenger.

"Why is there a watermelon there?"
"I'll tell you later."

I'm waiting for the cutaway.

More like "House of Potential Melanoma", amiright?

They probably don't, hence why she's been foisted upon the States.

I contributed to the "Cashfig" kickstarter over a year ago. I've yet to receive my figs.

"While gathering huckleberries for a sumptuous tart, they happened upon a stack of Elton John tickets…"

Good thing Cracked exists to steer our tastes.

Isn't it her dream? It's been so long since I watched it, but I could swear she snaps awake after that scene.

Richie will die from lack of t-shirt money.

I wonder if that spambot is related to Mummenschanz?

Well, in Soviet Russia…..awe, forget it.

Affluenza 2: Welfare Queen Holocaust

I know I've mentioned this before, but…
At the height of Brooks popularity, the most common saying I heard from people was a variation of, "I hate country music, but I love Garth Brooks."
This always struck me as the equivalent of "I hate Italian food, but I love the Olive Garden."

And the White Power hardcore movement. Fellow travelers and all.

Wasn't there a centerpiece joke in "The Simpsons Movie" about NSA listening in on every cellphone conversation? Pretty sure that came out before Barry was elected.