Caption Contest:

I was talking about wedding receptions with a coworker who went on a tirade about how much he hates the song "Shout". He went on and on about how awful the song is, how much he hates Animal House because of it, and when it's played at weddings he is in attendance of, needs to leave the room. He becomes increasingly…

For Travis Bickle perhaps.

They get mixed into the cassoulet.

In blackface/drag I'd hope.

And he does this while banging Minnie Driver a la "The Red Violin".

Don't forget "Milquetoast Digest".

Well Jim Cramer says to buy and that's good enough for me.

It's a Blue Buffalo commercial. The woman in it displays a level of incredulous indignance more befitting of, "I can't BELIEVE Gerber puts lead paint in my baby's strained peas!!!" I suspect the ad's director has dramatic aspirations.

That's so yesterday. Panda prosciutto is where it's at now.

I'm amazed there hasn't been a Gen X remake of The Big Chill. The leads dance around the house to "Alive" by Pearl Jam, playing air guitar on a 3 Ft Graffix bong. Lamenting the pre-facebook, war free Clinton years. It writes itself.

"There's a kangaroo…..in the bar car."

^Exactly. What's that WGA shit? This already feels like a put-on.

If there's combed over hair, the jury won't care.

In the last 6 months or so I was flipping radio channels and came upon Rush. He was in the middle of a rant about how endlessly negative and perpetually angry "The Liberals" are. I almost drove my car into a ditch from convulsing with laughter.

This was the inspiration for the show.

Little wonder my script for "Awl" went nowhere.

Kinda like every other right-wing talkbox. Get it?

I had a friend who was a pre-internet porn connoisseur. When I helped him move from an apartment he had several pieces of American Tourister luggage filled with magazines and vhs tapes. One of the mags was titled "Slick Slots", and was comprised of nothing but close-up shots of engorged, spread labia. It felt like…

And such is the legacy of poor Kari Wuhrer.