- What kind of church is open at 3 a.m. and playing loud jazz music?
-uhhhh, the best damn church in town!?

There's no way she'd be able to do that problem on crack.  It's algebra!  You need some serious meth if you're going to do algebra.

I'm sure this makes me sound a little like an asshole, but Andy Kaufman always got to me.  Most of the discussions here about the words comedians used to shed light on the human condition.  Kaufman shed light on the human condition with the words he didn't use.

Comedy is love.

Man, Jane Lynch is sprouting some scruff there.

What about Picasso?  He seemed to pretty pleased with things over all.

That is actually what my first guess was.

Cue "Yakkity Sax"

In his defense, Man on Fire was the first movie I've ever seen where Denzel Washington puts a bomb in a guys butt.

The Seventh Seal (With Robocop)

So…this then.

I thought it was just to remind us that he was in "Maverick", and that was fun and whimsical, right?  Right?

So…The Expendables then.

The champagne of semen.

-You can't use donkey semen on camera, it doesn't look like donkey semen. If you want donkey semen, you gotta use cows.

Supreme Leader of Iran, Ali Khamenei is cool but he's no Third Baseman Placido Polanco.

So we're French now?  Awesome!  I'm taking the rest of the week off.

All this goes back to the Hayes Code:

These'll play great in Peoria!

Dear Ms. Apple,