This ain't light mafia comedy…THIS IS GENOCIDE!

$250 for a vibrator?! Does it make you breakfast in the morning?

I kind of wanna hear his thoughts on Patti Smith's "Rock and Roll word disqus wont let me use, and justifiably so".

"Arthur or The Rise and Fall of the British Empire" by The Kinks is pretty brilliant.

I wanna throw in Titus Andronicus' "The Monitor". An album that's somehow about both being young, drunk, and hopeless in New Jersey and also the Civil War, and it totally works.

I mean, yeah Johnny Depp, sure, but would you rather fuck the ugliest woman alive, or a freshly dead Scarlett Johansson?

…or astro-men?

I used this song in my wedding ceremony. There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

I'd really like to see They Might Be Giants do it. They're not top 40 or McCartney level legends, but I'm almost certain everyone in America has heard of them and really enjoys at least one of their songs.

"Tag"

"None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with ME!" - Chris Brown after punching a bunch of people in prison.

I always heard of this as a "Long Island Virgin"

Vegans are actually a subset of the Free-Masons, you know, like Shriners.

I though this was the novel equivalent of The Phantom Menace:

Wait, Salinger co-wrote the screenplays for Armageddon, AVP: Requiem and the Shaft remake?

Wait, are electric eels notorious hedonists?

I heard the story from several places that Adam West and Frank Gorshin realized that they happened to participating in the same orgy, so they begin to perform hero/villain banter from across the pile.  Naturally, this freaks out some of the squares at the orgy, and the two are thrown out.

I'm just gonna say something with pirates.

The Mass of Men Lead Lives of Quiet Desperation, and Die Hard

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of a lake?