My guess is that his alcohol consumption caused a peptic ulcer. Either that, or Fake Ronnie got him blackout drunk one night and decided to see what it would be like to fuck himself in the ass.

Snooki might have been the victim of bad editing here. We saw only a few seconds of what might have been a much more uncomfortable experience for someone actually on the date. That said, she came out looking awful. One the one hand, she was condemning the guy for not sharing the details of his previous engagement…

It makes sense that you need a Golden Ticket to get to know Deena…
… because that little orange goblin is clearly an Oompa-Loompa.

The difference between Data and Archer (besides robo-semen, as amply discussed elsewhere) is that Data would surely have more sense than to let his pet cause an interplanetary diplomatic incident by urinating on a sacred tree. And if he did, he wouldn't be too stubborn to admit wrongdoing and would execute the apology…

I bet the main difference between Data and Lore is that Lore tastes like red meat, asparagus, and cigars, and he doesn't warn you when it's coming.

If it weren't for the fact that Guinan was actually a better counselor than Troi, Data's ability to ejaculate any fluid he wanted could have put Ten-Forward right out of business. Although it might have been harder to convince Worf to try prune juice for the first time.

I think Steffs has it right: Data and Spot's relationship works because cats aren't emotionally needy. They just need their bowls filled occasionally and then to be left alone. I don't think he would do nearly as well as a dog owner.

I see no reason it couldn't be a close simulacrum of actual semen, either produced by a small on-board replicator or replicated externally and transported into a small holding tank in Data's abdomen. If so, I'd hope he was replicating it from samples provided by a healthy male with a lot of pineapple in his diet, in…

"It's true, Deena! He says you totally t***** his s****! You even gave him a r**** t*******!"

Sammi and Ronnie are both abusive in their own way. He blew up at her in a pretty awful way, but she clearly pushed him to his breaking point. And she's the one who physically assaulted him.

I get why Ronnie wouldn't be surprised to see Dean, but…
The Jersey shore seems to be a pretty small world, and it's pretty likely that someone would have spotted the similarity between these two and introduced them years before, so when MVP brought him by the house, it makes sense that Ronnie would just say something…

Stewart actually did fence in two separate TNG episodes. I also fence, and he looked credible enough to me, although there's a jarring moment in one of the matches in which he and his opponent reverse places. My initial reaction was "Hey! That's not allowed!" before grudgingly allowing for the possibility that the…

I hope the same thing happens to her that happened to Laurence Fishburne's daughter.

If I were James Franco, that picture at the top of this article would be my Facebook profile picture.

I read about a quarter of the book and was so bored that I put it down and never picked it up again. "Okay," I thought. "I get the joke already."

Deena looks more like Rachel Dratch impersonating Snooki than Bobby Moynihan (not least because of the great rack).

JWoww has her purty moments, but she looks straight tore up whenever she's not wearing makep.

I should clarify three things to avoid possible litigation:

Steven Seagal: Lawman
There was a giant missed opportunity here when they didn't pair him up with that other noted celebrity lawman, Shaquille O'Neal, for a Lethal Weapon-style buddy cop show. Maybe O'Neal can have Seagal on an episode of "Shaq's Big Challenge" to see who can bust the most crooks.

Coincidentally, a friend of mine just started watching Studio 60 on DVD and asked if I'd seen it, so I've spent some time recently explaining why it's one of the greatest disappointments in the history of network television.