The War of the Roses thing is fucking hilarious.

I once met an American woman who'd lived in Australia for many years, and she said that her impression was not that Americans necessarily worked harder, but that they worked in order to raise their social standing, whereas the Australians worked in order to have the means to enjoy their leisure time.
No idea whether…

Bless you for saying a whole other level.
I heard a "whole nother" at work yesterday. *shudder*

In my family, that second one is the go-to response for an impossibly bleak, laugh to keep from crying turn of events.
Several notches above an, "Oh good, the curtains are on fire."

Hey, I just saw the first ad for American Horror Story Hotel, now that's something I'm looking forward to!
The ads, of course, not the terrible, terrible show.

I finally got around to seeing Gone Girl and I loved it. I loved the book, so I was especially pleased. And while I missed the peen the first time, it was on again today and I'm pleased to say I caught it then. Hooray for partial male nudity!
A friend gave me a copy of The Nightingale last night, so that will be my…

Idris Elba, you say? It's my birthday, too!
Twincest forever!!!!

I met a woman once who had a racist yellow lab. The neighborhood she lived in made it a particularly unfortunate situation.

But some people adopt older pets! I say this because my first dog loved people to a degree that was embarrassing (he wanted to give a warm, enthusiastic greeting to everyone). But my current dog was abused and neglected and although he's not racist, he gets nervous about really strange things, like women talking on…

Well it's only fair, since she already encouraged her husband to do the dishonorable thing in Mystic River.

I loved him in 7 Days in Hell.
"Oh we knew he was on cocaine, but in England it's considered very rude to point things out."

I hate it when my mom uses that word in public, since it seems so likely to be mis-heard.

"Yabba dabba Doooo!!!
Simpson, Homer Simpson
He's the greatest guy in history
From the
Town of Springfield
He's about to hit a chestnut tree"

My sweet, shivering tower of aspic….

"in which a beloved character ascends the Iron Throne just in time to have a giant meteor wipe out all life, leaving Ser Pounce to preside over the charred remains of King’s Landing"
Ser Pounce presiding over the charred remains of King's Landing?
You say that like its a bad thing.

I can't watch John Oliver's show. I think he's great, but the segments make me so angry.

I had a cat who would sit on my pillow and gently comb my hair- claws out, but she never scratched me. She was also the one who let the new kitten "nurse" on the pads of her feet. Oh, Tanner.
Shit, when did this room get so dusty?

I had a cat years ago with meningitis, and the meds she took to fight the inflammation made her more susceptible to colds and killed her appetite. So she sneezed everywhere and in order to coax her to eat, I had to heat up her food to make it extra stinky. Most days I would have to feed her with a spoon and basically…

My dog is the cutest thing alive, but he is so fucking stupid. The other day he went to walk through an opened door but one of his ears touched the door and he considered the way blocked so he gave up and sat down. Trapped! Trapped forever in front of an opened door!
My cat, on the other hand- if she can't push a door…

"isn't she the tart…"
Classy!