And his son wasn't that good a carpenter, either.

"Shooby doop bop bop zippy dooby doo wop-dop yeah!"
- A Bantha

No, Charlie left this show ages ago.

I think we can rule out Romulan as well- "Terran" and "Ferengi", some of the few proper nouns we can pick out here, don't match up. Other candidates- Trill or Cardassian don't seem to work either- the consonant list for the Trill language doesn't fit with changing 'Quark' to 'Gkwark', and the vowels (all those double…

Oh, I Dout that he minds it that much.

The aliens contacted Chuck Berry directly to satisfy their curiosity, but unfortunately all the footage he took of the ladies' room was confiscated before he could transmit it to them.

Racially he's pretty cool?

"Hemp-farming slave owner George Washington was honored with a giant phallic symbol on the National Mall today…"

But that's not a well researched argument at all! I checked the internet, and the band's name is actually the Foo Fighters. Marla made an error, conflating the band's true name with a scatological reference, and, what's more, I suspect she may have done this deliberately to disparage the quality of their music!

Well, I appreciate your honesty.

Wait, is there any fair way of judging this or are you just going to say, "No it isn't" to anything anyone suggests?

I kind of want Crown Royal and R.C. Cola to catch on as a mixed drink, like a Jack & Coke from the evil mirror universe, and I figure the quickest route is get someone to write a song about it. Any idea who I talk to about this?

Nah, she hit the juice boxes pretty hard and crashed her Cozy Coupe.

"WE'RE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS HERE PEOPLE!"

Well, Seattle let Luke Wilson play, and he hasn't been in a good movie since Idiocracy.

It's the sort of thing your middle-aged dad would come up with when he was trying to be cool and relate to the kids.
Maybe not your middle-aged dad specifically, but the platonic ideal of a dorky middle-aged dad.

Not so much embarrassing as strange, but on St. Patrick's Day a few years back, my cousin, a friend and I wound up in a dive bar listening to some live blues. (We had been at a more traditional Irish bar, but it was too crowded and some guy threw a punch at my cousin and got himself thrown out. None of us were hurt,…

"I gotta say, today was a good day"
From what I hear, this year was a good year.

Shaquille O'Neal and Warwick Davis, in a movie about a leprechaun fighting a genie.

It seems like, to me, New England's vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a New England’s asshole. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there!