Let me lay it on you brief-
He's a plagiarist and thief
Can't get no relief
While Ator the Eagle is floatin' like a leaf
Droppin' homemade bombs down from the sky
On the Austrian castle of that John Saxon type guy

Oddly enough, I just got a chill the other day when I was watching an old 30 Rock ("Murphy Brown Lied To Us") and Jack hinted Nixon was cryogenically frozen for a 2016 run.

I had long maintained the next host should be Craig Finn, who shares Keillor's fondness for stories of Minnesota, and his level of singing ability. "So they caught the Greyhound / It was Lake Wobegone bound / Where the women are strong, the men are good looking / and the children are getting high by the banks of the…

I just made out with that radiator woman from the Radiator Planet!

CATS AND DOGS, LIVING TOGETHER! MASS HYSTERIA!

"That's not a cigar!

Well, did you graduate from high school? Did you get a card with Snoopy on it, and a twenty dollar gift card, and a message to "Stay Cool!". And did you, Ryan? Are you still cool?

I don't remember Billy Wirth, but I do remember Wesley "Two Scoops" Berry, who absolutely dominated the Gauntlet. You can see him fly through in ten second here and taunt the gladiators after.

I think they have versions of that you can rent, with an inflatable arena and padded sticks. A couple different friends had them for their high school graduation parties- I may have made an ass of myself at Ryan's party but I WAS UNBEATABLE! I didn't have a lot of strength, but I had just about everyone outmatched on…

The problem is the gun lobby has a lot more money than the flag lobby.

Shouldn't the acronym be HTMLM then?

Hmmm. Can we rewrite that last scene so he says something like, "BUCKLE UP, IT'S GOING TO BE A BUMPY LANDING!" as he throws the guy out the window?

I don't know about his highway, but it's also sadly amusing he wound up with the airport named after him in spite of firing 11,000 air traffic controllers who tried to strike.

He'll fix that, but inexplicably add a CGI Jamaican caricature while he's at it.

Presumably, by the 23rd Century, "Christopher" is a strange, old-timey name and "Zebulon" has come around to have retro appeal like "Noah".

I hear they're going to re-carve Stone Mountain to depict Maddux, Glavine and Smoltz instead of Lee, Davis and Stonewall Jackson. Finally something Atlanta can really be proud of!

Thank god Jazz From My Asshole is still available.

It's shitty that he's getting attention, but I kind of want him to run just so he'll finally get incontrovertible proof that people don't want him. I imagine he'll bow out before he has to actually face losing every primary and claim it's to focus on running his businesses into the ground.

He's from the disputed zone, out in the Teenage Wastelands.

That actually denotes Jeb x (Jeb -1) x (Jeb -2) x …