Somebody bring me a stone!

Wise man say, forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for delayed movies.

Are Idaho Nazis better or worse than Illinois Nazis? Because I hate Illinois Nazis.

The Target where I live was still selling "Vote For Pedro" shirts as recently as six months ago. I feel that's important to share.

What would it be if you had sex with your own clone? How about if you gave your clone a Dutch Rudder?

Bold statement: The Wire is pretty good.

Shut up.

"It's called 'reading.' Top to bottom, left to right. A group of words together is a sentence. Take Tylenol for any headaches, Midol for any cramps."

I honestly just love that whole movie, and think it's far better than its dumb, slapstick reputation.

This seems like a weird answer, and a lot of people have seen it, but Tommy Boy is like a huge comfort blanket for me.

I know you're joking, but fuck you.

Oh, you are just so your mother.

"Schmeat" doesn't look like it rhymes with "great."

Do your worst. I'm already resigned to a full social media blackout.

There's a headline (probably a joke) about a woman from Fertile, MN getting in a car crash. It reads: Fertile woman dies in Climax on her way to Moorhead

Some say he only knows two facts about ducks… and both of them are wrong.

@boxofcottonswabs:disqus What am I, new?

Watched it before work. Nice try though.

I dropped DirecTV so I don't get to watch it live, and will instead be watching it Mondays on Amazon. Basically I decided $2/week is more than worth it to stay reasonably up-to-date.

What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to Vibe?