It's Willy Wonka's longtime rival and business competitor, Theodore P Tartfellow. He also runs a giant factory, but instead of staffing it with bronzed dwarfs, he uses Vietnamese children.

In this photo he look like one of the matriarchs from Downton Abbey.

He took a career aptitude test and the results came back as Prison Bitch.

"No matter how many times I watch them"?

He has a rare medical condition in which his gonads produce estrogen.

They absolutely love this show here in China. It's exactly the sort of inoffensive pablum that they aspire to, but lack the bare-bones resources to produce.

Whoa, a guy breaking up with a girl because she plays too many video games?!?
What's next, female astronauts?

Well, if you don't see a problem with spending every waking moment playing a virtual simulation of life which enhances zero life skills, then I guess you have a point.

That game sounds boring as hell.

He has some interesting memories of Famous Monsters of Filmland to discuss.

I've seen O'Neal's. It's just a regular-sized opus.

You tell um Penis Mightier!

Are you from one of those collective, cooperative, community service, operation outreach program projects?

I see your Swartz is as big as mine!

Yeah I'm curious about permanence for the hunters. Once you die is that it? It would be great if you could isolate specific hunters and then put them down a la predator, their numbers slowly dwindling until it is just you and a large Austrian ex-green barrett, shirtless and covered in mud.

I'm rooting for them to make an entire season based solely on Arya training to become a faceless man.
Come on, do it HBO!

Slow internet.

She's hot man. You should totally go for it.

No, but I did own an Atari Linx, which I lorded over my gameboy owning friends for its far-ahead-of-its-time color screen.
We all know how that turned out.

I hate disrupting my chronoton mid-stream. It burns…