Our little village is getting serious press. John Lithgow just mentioned YS on the Tonight Show as well. The fame quotient for such a small population is insane. I'm including myself in that evaluation, obviously.

Rabin, The Last Dork makes a national tragedy hilarious.

I hope that in a dramatic plot twist he reveals to Swinton that she's the mother.

12 years old? I was 7 when I first saw this in the theater and it instantly became my favorite movie. My young mind was influenced heavily by the schwartz.

After the 3rd paragraph I scrolled up to see if this was a Rabin caning.
This Ignatiy kid has talent.

My favorite column has returned! Oh, how I've missed wallowing in the grand failures of American pop culture.

"Vomiting negativity about a television show on a weekly basis isn’t fun for anyone. "

4) Receive backlash from AVC commentariat.

I think this comment should be condemned. There's serious fatigue in all the grammar-bearing members, the joke is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our discussion needs, and this website is like an unmoderated reddit.

I heard they decided to use your hometown because it's strictly…

I assume it's a tab of rohypnol.

Oh, they'll still sew your asshole shut and keep feedin' you and feedin' you, it will just be with organic, GMO-free, locally sourced products.

I think it just applies to Chinese productions. One thing to keep in mind is that no rule in China is absolute. I guarantee these hollywood studios have to pay through the nose to get their films into this market.

You folks jest, but here in China the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television actually outlawed time travel as a story element in entertainment. Presumably because its just too difficult to tie up all those plot holes.

I came here for advice but all I found was sarcasm…
And now I've wasted the last 40 minutes trying to figure out how to use a microphone as a vag.

I need your eclairs, your mousse, and your Belgian waffle.

Pasta la vista baby!

Wait, you come to the AVclub—and specifically O'Neal pieces—for the story and not the snark or gimmicks? Dude, that's like going to Jean-Georges for the free bread sticks.

Vaughnorrhea then?

Slightly different, but I do stand up comedy and we also come on the stage to music. I'm going to have to steal one from David Spade and say Space Hog's In the Meantime is just the ultimate entrance jam.