No dumbbells in here baby, just my balls.

This is pretty much my girlfriends story of growing up. She had multiple pets which her parents eventually cooked up and ate. It is the way of Chinese people. They threaten to eat my dog all the time…

Replicaaaants! Mount up!
It was a clear black night, a clear white moon,
organic robots in LA, trying to consume,
Some skirts for the eve, so I can have some fun,
Just chillin' in my ride, like a turtle in the sun.

I just read Wanted based on numerous online recommendations (I had watched maybe the first 15mins of the movie but found it boring), and admittedly the flipped supervillian premise sounded promising. But holy shit was that comic awful. The attempts at edginess read like a 13 year olds regurgitation of ICP lyrics ("Hey…

I had always assumed the AV Club was a think tank designed to explore this very question…

That's rule number one. 
Rule number two is: In Japan, texting comes first, driving come sec

I'd rudder see Cars again…

"Here, I just wanted to bounce this off your head…"
*SQUISH*

His face looks like an old moccasin tied to a rock…

Indiana Jones and the Tinkle of Doom

Nice to meet you, I'm a TMZ historian! Did you know that Paris Hilton was a person who hated underwear?

The moment the precocious moppet appeared on screen doling out relationship advice I gagged and swapped this twee bullshit out for Predator.  
More like 500 rounds of mini-gun ammo…

If it weren't for these enterprising souls, who would be there to inspire a new generation of college students to put poo-dollars on their campus thoroughfares?

The pass…. and the alley-oop!
*crowd goes wild*

Thumbs up to your username as well.

I miss the days when boy bands all dressed in hilarious, matching costumes utalizing hideous fad styles that were embarressing a month after they wore them.  

"Where is it that we are back again? Who were you that brought
the flavor, and showed me how? The brothers. The sisters. Gonna make you sing. Darkness, light. The fire, the one desire. Are they the workings of one mind? Yeah. Am I the only one? Yeah. Am I sexual? Oh, my soul. Let me be in you now. Look out through my…

They are all Lou Pearlman, and must create their own alternate reality version of the ultimate boy-band, culminating in an interdimensional sing-off to win the ownership of said corpulent identity, becoming, LOU PEARLMAN OF THE UNIVERSE!
I think this idea has legs.

I takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Say "bye-bye" to all those spectacular Casper Van Dien projects he has in the pipeline.