We've known some non-avian dinosaurs had feathers since the 1990s.

Well, sure it looks bad if you leave out all the pornography.

I live to serve.

It means to remove their testes.

Why won't they resurrect Emmanuelle?

Oh, he'll fight you.

It makes me sad that the 17th century Puritans were up for whatever crazy shit in the bedroom a MARRIED COUPLE wanted to get into, but 21st century Americans are somehow less sex positive than the FUCKING PURITANS.

Dean Cain is one-quarter Japanese!

That's possibly true! That said, it would have been my peer group that was mostly having kids about ten years ago. My closest friends and I are late bloomers.

I taught my best friend's 3-year-old son how to do the Dave Coulier "Cut! It! Out!" catchphrase, complete with gestures. I'm the best n'uncle.

Great Leader Putin does not debase himself by pulling strings on useless American celebrities. Great Leader Putin pulls strings on Russian bankers who pull strings on useless American celebrities.

I would have no say in what any hypothetical woman who lets me touch her bits would wear, but I would certainly lobby extensively for long skirts.

He's looking at Goldman Sachs Villain Steven Mnuchin.

I've read things written by actual kids that pretty much say they're on their phones all the time because it's literally the only time they can interact with their friends without a parent hovering over them. My generation are really shitty parents.

Great Leader Putin only rides Tigers. Check your internet photographs again, comrade.

She's still a Jesus Freak of the Jesus Hates Your Body persuasion.

Tavernacle never kids about the Hallmark Channel.

Those are Finns!

I think the Russian fetish is tickling.

I was fine never knowing this woman existed, Geezy.