The Chinese KFC slogan is "Eat your fingers off."

I care a little bit if you're purple or polka-dotted.

From the Magic Schoolbus?

Hellene men would fuck anything that held still long enough for them to stick it in.

Hm. Clyde's dads in The Loud House, Kevin and his nameless boyfriend on Clarence, Stamford and Anthony in Sex and the City, Mitch and Cam in Modern Family, Syeed and Christian in Eastenders, Kurt and Blaine in Glee, Lafayette and Jesus in True Blood… and Christ, I'm going to stop, because except for the gay cartoons,…

They couldn't be in the same frame in the credits, but they could take baths together. Standards & Practices, you so crazy.

Which wife?

In the sense that apocrypha are generally fanfiction of better, better known works, yeah, they definitely would count.

There's Newt, 1906, and Shademaker, as well as Making Nemo and Inside Pixar. I don't know if you'd count early, scrapped versions of movies that eventually got made anyway.

How much turkey fucking is in those other films?

Not yet.

I'm better at golf than baseball because I've never stopped flinching when someone throws something at me as hard as they can.

It can be three things!

Ohhhhhhh. Is that still on?

You can go to a driving range and feel the same way. Your instructions are exactly the same thing you'd want to tell someone about their golf swing.

Oh, so you're telling me that The Legend of Bagger Vance was all made up, then!

Pimping and late-night radio.

Legitimately interesting job, Internet.

Yeah, it's definitely a comic that has been hyped far beyond its capabilities, but I still like the character.

I don't know who anybody in this article except for Andrew W.K. is, and I don't really know who he is, except that he likes to party.