I don't have a pun, this just looks awesome.

Today's description of why Gravity is pretty good, but maybe won't be universally loved, rings truer to me. Few things take me out of a movie more than clunky dialogue. And Sandra Bullock has just not entertained me much since her cute and funny days, circa Speed and Demolition Man, so I can almost hear the clunky…

Clearly you've never seen a YANKEES SUCK bumper sticker.

We win either way!

A bunch of white people worshipping a god who's actually black, and painting him as white in their paintings? Poppycock, balderdash, Jesus.

Like Superman? Different personality, same thing. Guy who can do everything adored by 12 year-olds who never emotionally matured and think— actually, really think— that this utter bullshit qualifies as a real character, because that's how misdeveloped and broken their minds are. I'm pretty sure that anyone who could…

Who the fuck else did you have in mind, Adam West?

The Red Wedding? I don't even watch Game of Thrones and even I know what happened in that episode. It was everywhere. Sorry, but that's not a spoiler, it's news. If you made it through the tidal wave of internets about it when it happened, I don't see how this mention is a problem.

The first in this string of bad episodes, Are We There Yet?, was actually really entertaining compared to this, even though it has the same grade. The whole joke about Dexter, Hannah and Zach being a serial killer family amused me. Yes, it was the same joke over and over, and yes, it did mean that the show had become…

You give the writers no credit, but those lines were actually directed at the audience.

I'm just baffled that they're still introducing new plots for Masuka's daughter, because there are only two episodes left. This means that some minutes of the final or penultimate episode will be dedicated to wrapping up Masuka's daughter's pot habit. I don't know what to say about that.

Lost in Translation isn't a bad movie, but nothing would be worth trading for a Godfather movie as good as the first two.

The voice is unfortunate. It did have a reason, in the first movie: he uses it to scare the shit out of people. And it totally works.

I don't know what I just read. Is it an in-joke inside an in-joke inside an in-controversy?

Keaton was all right, but I also don't remember him doing anything special with it (or very much being asked of him). The personality mostly came from Jack Nicholson. And Kim Basinger— she got to display more personality in that movie than any other I can think of, though admittedly I haven't seen many of her movies.

But can you give Ben Affleck a face that doesn't make me want to punch it? I've already seen it, I already know the only response is a desire to punch it. He's the living embodiment of Paul Dano's performance in There Will Be Blood.

I haven't read the books and reportedly they're just as terrible as you'd expect, but, the main thing was Jack Reacher is supposed to be 6'5", and Tom Cruise is almost a full foot shorter. Apparently being big is integral to the character. Like Thor, I guess, would be the analogy from a movie I'm interested in. If…

Right, but the quest was always to save the wife, not vengeance. Some people got it that really deserved it along the way.

He does kill people he doesn't have to, sure, but in general they're all between him and his wife. The movie is still a get-his-wife quest, as opposed to a vendetta.

There's the undeserved dig at a great film I was waiting for. "Tarantino’s crass Django Unchained, which trivialized the subject by treating its horrors as the catalyst for a kicky revenge fable". There's so much wrong with that and I don't even have the energy. It didn't trivialize slavery in the least, it's not…