No, but you are gross.

And yet no women give a shit what you want or like.

Don't worry, guy from AFI. You'll get your time to shine.

Damn that story straight to hell. I've never read anything like it before or since, which is both good and bad. That story is true horror.

They really should've done him like Judith and put him under someone's poncho.

I feel like throwing salt at awful people is something we should do as a society.

Stupid idiot is stupid.

Because that's exactly what he said! Good reading!

It's about Kelly Lebrock and it was originally supposed to be reggae-style. Thanks, Dick Biondi!

That actually seems like a wildly dickish move. You'd think Mel could just tell the guy himself without involving lawyers.

I'VE TRAVELED 500 MILES TO GIVE YOU MY SEED.

It reminds me of the terrible haircut all the boys had in the 90's. That nasty long hair with the shaved sides that made them look like they were wearing coon-skin caps.

Right? Why would a reasonable adult spend money on a book about a guy who dresses as a bat?

A Mrs. Carmody punching bag would be pretty cool.

With a pull-string that makes him say, "I have your gold, Blake."

READ HARDER, MOTHY.

If you don't want people to think you're sexist, a good idea is to not say dumbshit sexist things, you dumbshit.

He also never bothered to ask why she was so goddamned angry all the time.

I.CANNOT.STAND.LED.ZEPPELIN. It feels really good to get that out.

I high-fived my barren uterus like a hundred times reading that book.