I get really excited when I see a former SYTYCD contestant on a commercial or in a music video or something. They always seem like decent kids, so I feel stupidly proud of them when I see them getting work.

Look everyone! I'm being an asshole for no reason again!

Stop reading comics and grow the fuck up.

He's a troll and a twit. I think he's afraid of women or something.

Just read your comments.

Grow up, little fella.

Captain Willful Ignorance rides again!!

Someday someone will take pity and have sex with you. Someday.

Gosh, it's almost like women aren't a monolith or something. How weird that we wouldn't all be cool with the same thing. You got some growing up to do, son.

Holy shit, you are an insufferable prat.

Just ask my steering wheel, I could be an amazing Judas.

Carl Anderson once winked at me and Mother Shoebox during a performance. I have to mention this whenever JCC comes up.

Chris Thile does a most excellent cover of Heart in a Cage.

The Dean Martin version is the only acceptable one.

Alternate title: You Regifted My Heart.

Or your urethra collapsing.

LOL. You've got enough outrage for the whole internet, sweetpea.

As mind-warpingly beautiful as Matt Bomer is I had some serious second-hand embarrassment during that. Luckily he's got cheekbones for days!

That suit looked like shit. It didn't even look properly fitted. It's a shame because Gaga can wear the hell out of a suit.

I saw that for the first time last month at a friend's house. I cried like a baby and didn't even care when they laughed.