Um, microwave…oven…toaster oven…wrap it in paper towels and stick it under your armpit…

Affliction t-shirts? TapOut shorts? Volcom ballcap? Most of these words have some meaning to me, but they make no sense together. I'm not sure whether I should be proud of my lack of knowledge of fashion or ashamed. I'm leaning toward proud at the moment.

Is it sad and/or pathetic that I know who Jon Gosselin is, but don't have a fucking clue who Ed Hardy is?

I agree. It is just a movie. Bad movies have made money in the past.

I saw two dogs fucking while I was taking a walk the other day. My wife and I both giggled. It was awesome. True story.

I have no fucking clue if it was the first episode, nor was that, a comment made nearly an hour after the actual first comment, an attempt at a firstie.

I was in NYC a few weeks ago…
…and they were filming an episode of this a block from my hotel.

OH GOD!
OH MAN!
OH GOD!
OH MAN!

The ugly opera dude from the year before. His voice was more than adequate.

I wholeheartedly disagree. Adequate is precisely the adjective that should be used to describe this woman's singing. Sure, it was unexpected that such a dowdy looking woman would have such a pleasant voice, but all these pussies who say they cried when they heard her are morons. Her voice isn't great. It's nice.…

19. Show you their numbers…or maybe that's just my grandparents on my mother's side.

Yes, she overcame those hurdles by singing adequately and lying about never having been kissed.

Thank you Amelie…
…for finally pointing out that Susan Boyle's performance was bursting with adequatulence.

I am everything I hate.

Susan Boyle?
I do her again.

It's time to poke Bellini with a stick!

Ok, OTP, I assume you now want a cigarette…what's your brand?

Yeah! Wait, what?

Uh, shouldn't your name be Laius, and your son be Oedipus?

JVS - we'll start with one, but he'll train others.