And whatever happened to that nice boy Simon?

Where's…
the fucking Lorax?! Won't someone speak for the trees?!

If you *were* Jackie Chan, I'd happily oblige (although you'd probably just turn the hammer back on me using your feet or some such shit).

Pronounced "Ay-rab" of course.

Don't forget about "An Insect's Existence," "Autos," and "Pursuing My Son the Fish with the Gimpy Fin"

You know what's not unusual? To be loved by anyone.

I love the tags on the Amazon page: "fraud" "rip-off" and "copy."

That balloon is floating on sadness and desperation.

I hate myself so much, for so, so many reasons. I am now the Magical Self-Hating Half Jew (as if there were another kind).

That green little numbers…
If I comment on the fuckability of the green M&M, will my comment get deleted?

Yeah, there's really not much to get excited about for the rest of the summer (says the guy with two kids whose only chance to watch anything in the theaters this summer, save for Up with his two year old next weekend (age appropriate?) is to watch the bootlegs of Star Trek, Wolverine, and Angels and Demons he got for…

I have to admit…
…it was pretty funny watch that British guy squirm while apologizing for getting his dick sucked.

A really great diamond doesn't have to cost an ARM and a LEG!

Also, anyone from Rochester to Albany should know:

So many great ones in Rochester. We have Billy Fuccillo in Rochester and Buffalo - HUUUUUUUUUGE-AH!

*33
I still remember the lyrics to a three-way call commercial from Rochester, NY in about 1997 (they used a Frank Sinatra impersonator):

There was also one with mosquitos that started with one saying to the other "Hello, Mosquito!"

Robs? He never robs…he just sort of…borrows from people who can afford it.

The fuck they are. Those waxy fuckers always got stuck in my teeth.

Candy Convention?
I want to go to there.