Also also from WIkipedia:

Wow, we've finally found a candidate so dumb even Americans won't vote for him. I wasn't starting to think that wasn't possible.

Grab some bench?

"McNugga Lubba Dub Dub"

"If I were hitting on you, you'd know 'cause you'd be terrified"

Is it time for another shipment?

"What happens if somebody wants their steak well-done?"

I blame Mr. Peanutbutter.

You wanna make a bet? Didn't think so.

Nope. Trump only won because the American electoral system worked in his favor. The French system works against Le Pen. She'd have to win a runoff with entire left, center and center-right against her. Not gonna happen.

I'm pretty sure that a "quasi-Dickensian tale of an orphan’s adventures, it features a villainous lawyer, virtuous Quakers, glad-handing politicians, a sultry Spanish dancer and more than a few unlikely plot twists" was the description of a Lemony Snicket book.

What was I on?

Tiny, orange dicks out for Trump!

"Dental damn!"

I'm still gonna go with Dan saying that he killed a stray dog because some older kid dared him to.

Fortunately, its' a rake, though- which means it'll be useful when it comes time for shit pick-up.

Look, I'm not over enthused about these puns threads either, but if one's gonna happen then Soviet.

Do you kids want to be like the real UN or do you want to just squabble and waste time?

George wants a damn word with you.

Bobdor.