This explains why her music is so derivative.

Including 2 a.m.

I assumed it meant he wanted to drive his car off a bridge with his pregnant girlfriend locked in the trunk.

So this naked chick, do you still have her phone number?

Goddamn those dudes are ugly.

You mis-spelled "testes".

(Crickets chirping)

I think the black devil should be played by Chris Rock.  

Almost as hard as cleaning up a campus covered in paint?

Bruce Almighty 2: Judgment Day

I think the lyrics were actually "But I will touch that butt if you get outta line."  Which could mean a number of things, not necessarily related to smacking.

He should sample the toilet flushing parts, yes.

And seeing as how Destiny is Nas's daughter, does that make him Blue Ivy's great-grandfather?

"It being the number of times Jay-Z will make mention of his daughter in his songs."

So that would make their next kid Pinkerton Vee Carter.

For there is a devil inside me, and only when he's finally out can I walk free of pain.

Seriously, just make up your own ending.  It will be so much better.  Hell, there's probably Dexter fan fiction you could read that's way better.

Louis is totally the heretofore unmentioned third sibling who was present in that blood-soaked shipping crate with Dexter and Brian.  Or maybe he's Dexter's half-brother from their spider-web tattooed, Creedence Clearwater Revival listening loner biological father.  Either way they're going to recycle the Season 1…

Justin Bieber's career is proof that there is no God.

Careful, guy.  The FBI is reading this now.