I somehow doubt that the clumsy removal of brain tissue would make people LESS likely to enjoy reality TV.

One more vote for commentary-free hockey matches on TV. Dumb/obvious game analysis drives me up the wall. ("They're down by 2, so to win this game they're really going to need to step up that offense!")

John 3:16
Have you accepted Jesus into your ass?

I'm not much of an Elton John fan, but I really like "I'm Still Standing" and "Grow Some Funk of Your Own". Dumb lyrics, but otherwise they're serviceable, uptempo Queen-soundalikes. ("Grow Some Funk" also has shades of "Kill City" by Iggy and the Stooges.)

Doug Benson is barely funny when I'm high. I'd put him in your Category C.

"When you tell a joke about a pile of goo that used to be separate foods… You'll know what to do."

"Hey, Janet Reno… How does that song go… Dude Looks Like a Lady, no."

@Cruskinsky: Agreed. For example:

I always thought it meant that you got to hang out with the '72 California Angels. Muslims spend eternity playing catch with Nolan Ryan.

At least you're not an anteater.

So if you wanna join me for a while,
Just grab your gat, we'll murder thugs,
That's hobo style…

A Long John?

I am finding a lot to enjoy here. Awesome suggestions. Thank you, everyone!!

You win a Menderchuk No-Prize. Look for it in your mailbox soon — in fact, I imagine it's already there!

You're totally right… The groping arms are directly from Repulsion. I have to watch that movie again sometime. (And it's Dario Argento.)

Why do you think he grew up to be such a manly outlaw? It's like A Boy Named Sue came to life.

I was pretty young when I found it, maybe 11 or so. Certainly about 5 years before we got the Internet. I jacked it to the book a few times, as I recall, but mostly I was just incredulous at the sheer pornucopia of depravity described. I guess in some ways, it *was* my Internet.

Guitar: Featuring John Byner and Super Dave Osborne.

I love country music…
…I just hate the lyrics of most anything released by country artists after 1985. Toby Keith is no exception. Racist, sexist; who cares? He's simply uninteresting.

Nah, that guy's pure Okie. Still, I can't blame you for trying to pass the buck!