I have wanted to get into some brain-expansion chemicals for some time now, but I'd always demur since I never know if I'm going to get piss-tested after a job interview. My job situation is now way more stable than it was previously, but…you never know.

I wonder if part of it is jealousy of me having spent my good-looking years (I jest but only somewhat) being mega-closeted and staring down the barrel of 35 with all these problems still rattling around my head and the younger crowd feeling confident enough to explore what they are and what they want to be in a way I…

Well that's a given, but I've got all these fucking video games to play.

Well, it's not as if I'm going to stop being me anytime soon, I just feel awkward in my own skin. I feel less unlabeled and more like a list of unanswered questions.

This is pretty solid advice, yeah. Probably the best part of having written that OH GOD SO EMBARRASSING post last night is that people are responding to different aspects of it, allowing me to work on analyzing and responding to the various bullet points.

Well, I do what I can. Like I replied above, I don't think they're actively biphobic, I'm just paranoid. It's more a case of them fairly graciously extending their previously lesbian-only space to include me and the "there is a guy here" awkwardness that can entail.

That sort of "you're just fucking with people, pick a side" shit is precisely why I'm the sort of person who stays at home and pets the cats while Pride/Queerbomb/etc go on downtown. Fuck of it is, though, it's never happened to me directly. I'm afraid of it—-I'm afraid of a lot of things, really.

Believe you me, there's a lot of effort and things going that way. Like, the best thing I've got going for me is that my partner is hugely supportive, even if they can't always relate to the shit going on in my brain.

This is why I've mostly taken "queer" on as an identifier. I hesitate to use "genderqueer", because of the expectations about presentation that come with it, but that's a whole other can of worms.

"I need to relax" is exactly my problem with everything - I'm not even being sarcastic, I am wound really, really tight.

warning - poorly edited rambling because emotions are hard, guys

When I am at my worst, I generally retreat to safe, soft tunes - which are safely ensconced in my sleep playlist. Here's a taster:

AMR introduced me to Polysics. I like a lot of the bands that label's put out over the years, but that Hey! Bob! My Friend! compilation was a cornerstone record in my early college years. I inflicted it on as many people as I could, and it was a great barometer for determining who of my friends was or wasn't weird…

Clicked on the article because as a teenager, I felt like the only American Blur fan (Think Tank is great dude is wrong), but had to post because of what you just said: Everyone needs fucking Sabbath.

I thought it was four balls at the edge of a cliff.

I am so glad someone remembers this apart from me and I didn't hallucinate it.

Honestly, I turn 35 this year and used to snark about Journey, but one summer in college, while I was working in a pizza shop, someone downloaded a bunch of Journey to the in-store computer we used to listen to music and print out online orders, and there's very little like a nice summer day and Journey. Stone in Love…

Perfection. I didn't have much to add in my original comment beyond that, but I'm gonna ask here 'cos it's been bothering me lately, and I know you've been around since the days where I was just reading and not talking: I'm not a daily commenter, so it's easy for me to miss stuff, but is it just me or have the…

Your fake spambot comment a few posts up just got pulled as I was trying to comment on it which is a goddamn crime because it was amazing.

Is that what old people fall asleep watching at 7 pm now? I still use Matlock as the cultural reference, which means I am old and not with it. I can barely keep up with young person TV, let alone old person TV.