Against Atlanta: dogfight ringmaster Michael Vick

I'd never read Rex Reed before, and now I never will again, unless I'm about to get in a fight and I need something to stir up all of my hatefulness and rage. I vaguely remember his personality from TV when I was a kid—imagining his voice reading this made it even worse.

I remember some kind of Butterfly Revolution movie from when I was a kid…maybe it was made for TV, but I know it's been adapted at least once.

You're in a bunch of graphic sex scenes in Ayn Rand novels?

As an adult, I'll second you on the motion comics disdain…but I can only imagine that kids love that stuff. When I was a little kid, I remember some show in which the camera would move from panel to panel over some classic DC Comics stories, while a narrator and some actors read the text. It was probably as tacky…

I'd like to see his face even more when he heard 'Sir Psycho Sexy.'

Instead of giving a kid "The Fountainhead" to read as his first Ayn Rand book, they should give him some shit like "Anthem," so that the kid can see just how ridiculous and panicky all that Objectivist shit can be. "Fountainhead" is just too alluring and romantic for the young, uncritical mind to handle.

Colbert gets a lifetime pass from me for that shit he pulled at the White House Correspondents' Dinner.

Some comedy retains a lot of its impact even after a thousand listens—Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, Bill Hicks all spring to mind—so I'll take your argument as proof (as if we needed any more) that Dane Cook sucks balls. Hard.

And what of…
…da Hepatitis Hellraiser?

If I had vision problems, I'd get glasses because a) the idea of putting in contacts creeps me out, and b) yeah, I think glasses look cool.

Come on, now, Cesar Romero was perfect the tone of that show, which in itself was a reflection of that Dick Sprang-era zaniness. He was a Joker for his time. Comparing him to Ledger would be unfair.

Agreed. If that were the worst thing my parents ever said to me after I had fucked up, I'd have considered it getting off easy.

I'll await the pile-on for this statement, but whatever you think about it, Lady Gaga actually has a great fucking voice.

I think that maybe people think this is the only movie of its kind that will ever be, and this is the only chance they'll get to see it in splendid 3-D. I'll bet most people don't realize that 3-D HDTV is just around the corner.

Actually, she's fucked either way, since Peyton Manning is actually from New Orleans. Either way, that city wins the Super Bowl.

Maybe when he's talking to ATC, Ford uses that nerdy/effeminate voice he used when he was impersonating a stormtrooper on the Death Star.

Raiders>Last Crusade>Temple of Doom>Crystal Skull.

"Paraphrasing what I said earlier."

Sure, the people you love should love you in spite of (or because of) your flaws, but that doesn't make you infallible. People fuck up, and sometimes when they fuck up, they hurt other people. And when you hurt someone else, intentionally or not, you owe them an apology—not an apology for WHO YOU ARE, but for WHAT…