Ahh, the old uterine scrape. You know, there are a lot of girls gots to go to college—no need to kill them, they'll happily seduce Pacino.

Ooh, is that the one where he makes puns about the overweight? Love that one.

bonus list for those who made it this far
Hey friends—
I'm working on a Halloween mix—suggestions would be awesome.

But the only person who can shatter GLut's defenses and access the hurt little boy in him? Dratch.

And then she would regret all those thousands of kisses she wasted on you…ugh.

William Hurt is not one-dimensional as an actor—he's subtle. He's fucking SUBTLE, goddamit!

Thatches, I have a friend who made that giant pancake once to impress a girl. Take notes, gentlemen, this is what ladies want.

Dave Foley: GERRY!
Kevin McDonald: GERRY!

Jorge: oh, I feel exactly the same way about "Baby Boom!"

I have no idea why ST was so unfunny and hamfisted. I've seen Terry Jones speak recently and he was hilarious and right on his game. And there's no way its crappiness was Adams' fault.

My friend saw those dolls when they came out and said "great, now girls are being encouraged to buy dolls (dollz?) that look like they would've been too cool to hang out with me in high school." At least Barbie was an astronaut.
*sigh* I miss the days of Babysitters' Club and Sweet Valley Twins/High.

I wanna hear about how you founded modern astronomy. Let's hear that one!

Yeah, the couch when your wife reads this, honey. Mm-kay?

Is someone messing with phel? Not cool! She's the one who brought up Almodovar, after all!

Jorge: it's because Cher's an awesome actress.

More like borophyll!

Every musical has what my friends and I call a "Cheer Up, Charlie," after the mopey song Charlie Bucket's mother sings in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"—that is, a crap song through which one must fast-forward. Too bad this musical's 'Cheer Up, Charlie' is its climax. "Oklahoma" has the same ballet issue…

See, to me that look reads as "all this, AND there's an ice age coming?"

For a truly insightful foray into the implications of deviant sexual urges, in particular as they are played out in snuff films, see Nic Cage IN 8mm.

Eh, he was hot in CMD, hot in 'The Fugitive' and he's hot now.