@JudgeReinhold:disqus Should I be touched or concerned that you know where Little Emma is on a date right now?

Dude she's like 20 years older then him. Gross.

The Bachelor AV Club: 12 Av Club commenters compete for the affections of Reality TV Star, Harvard Law Graduate, and Semi-Competitive Eater John Cochran. Find out who he gives his balut eggs 8 pm on CBS

I don't know which preview excited me more: Malcolm being teased for a comeback or Eddie putting the moves on Andrea. My viewer enjoyment from Unintentionally Douchey Eddie is at maximum levels right now

We're just trying to forget that he ever existed at all. We would have sent you a memo, but that would have been proof he existed

Corinne's refusal to split the vote has officially entered the Jeff Kent Pantheon of Blind, Pointless Strategies That Get You Voted Out. If she put as much thought into math as her bitchy confessionals we would have had an A+ Phillip Shepard blindside, and it would have been glorious. 

This just became my dream scenario for the finale. The Specialist must choose between True Grit and the Intelligencia Attache. The Survivor Universe would fucking implode

Not if Dawn keeps this ruthless streak up. Corinne's exit interview revealed her blaming of Dawn for getting her voted out. She's not on the jury, but the rest will be

Cochran, if you're reading this, know that as your unofficial internet family, we are all very proud of your immunity win. Go forth, Ginger Kobayashi, and continue to kick much ass

Dancing Cochran was even better. If only Survivor had shelled out the extra bucks for Eye of the Tiger victory music, the moment would have been perfection

Can we all agree that Phil should only talk about shows he likes/doesn't actively hate and let the rest of us continue to live in our happy, Nightman-free innocence? 

I think the Fiji appetizer gave me food poisoning

Such a fantastic challenge. I love the foreshadowing too. Stephenie, Bobby Jon, and Ibrehim were the last 3 standing on Ulong because they were strongest, and James was 4th.

Nearly all great seasons with only a few exceptions (Australia, Palau, HvV) establish themselves post-merge. The standard for pre-merge in my mind is much lower than the standard for post-merge, and Micronesia certainly meets that standard. I mean, Joel vs Chet is one of the great Survivor rivalries of all time! 

The Four Horsemen single-handedly saved Fiji from the bottom spot. Well, that and Dreamz throwing away a million dollars for a truck.

The key difference here is that Malcolm, unlike Mookie, is not an idiot

I bet Colby made far more money than Tina in endorsement deals and TV contracts over the last 10 years. I actually think he gained more from being an honorable loser then if he'd been a "dishonorable" winner.

I think they saw part of those seasons. They definitely didn't see all of China because nobody knew Amanda had gotten to the end

So I suppose this makes Phillip Rachel Dratch?

The first Fans v Faves had 2 medevacs and a quit so it's certainly not unprecedented.