They need to watch out. I hear mummies' penises often disappear.

Donald Trump is holding a press conference at noon to say, "I am so very, very proud of myself for forcing the president to kill Bin Laden. Needless to say, without my awesome awesomeness, this would not have happened." He'll then throw a handful of free drink chips for Trump Taj Mahal into the crowd.

OH, I'M SORRY AVCLUB. MAYBE YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE MONEY THEY WERE PAYING YOU WAS FOR!

My campaign to force Superman to release his long form U.S. birth certificate has finally paid off! Enjoy living in Mexico you filthy wetcape.

Wafflezombie is correct. The Manamana song from the muppets is by far the most infectious song ever.

I'm lost. What does this movie have to do with Dylan Dog?

I'm confused. Why don't they just shoot him? They can figure out how to make flying brooms, but they can't figure out a way to pick up a high-powered sniper rifle from good ole 'Merica and splatter his brains all over the wall from a half mile away?

Let's make a baby that will never be able to function in society due to severe fetal alcohol syndrome.

Brimley, a noted method actor, is busy gearing up for a new series of Enzyte, the natural male enhancement pill, commercials.

Show a little respect, assholes. The man invented Sudoku for fuck's sake. What did you ever do?

In the new one, Judgment Day has been pushed forward again and Skynet sends it's new SENIOR-1000 terminator back in time to infiltrate the 55+ Active Senior Living Community where John Connor now lives.

Judging by his Wikipedia filmography, I don't know that Grieco would be able to fit a 21 Jump Street movie into his schedule, even for a cameo. Especially with blockbusters like "Cats Dancing on Jupiter" coming out soon.

The ancient Mayan long count calender ends in 2012, the year that they predicted the original, "Now That's What I Call Mayan Music" series would end.

@ paparazo

Mmm…shad, right up there with carp and eel in the world of delicious fish.

Next up:

Thank god. Before this it was nearly impossible to find a Grateful Dead album (since I believe they only made 1 full and 1 EP during their time together) and people covering the Grateful Dead? Forget about it. Next the National will compile a tribute album to a little known Liverpool band from the 60s.

In Berlusconi's defense he had no idea it was frowned upon in Italy to have sex with underage North African girls for money. Where he comes from that's no big deal.

It's playing here in Philadelphia for some reason, a town where Democrats usually get about 80% of the vote in elections. The Republicans aren't even fundamentalist nuts or small government assholes, its more based on the fact that the Democrats continually nominate minorities, which is enough for about 20% of the…

@ The Motherfucking Shore Patrol