Whoops, I meant in here. Though I have re-Targeted quite a few women in my day.

Don't you mean, "Let's get re-Targeted in her!"

If anything happens to Amelie, Lover, I'm rolling over on ya to the police, big guy, and having you sent up to Rikers Island on a kiddie raper beef.

The phrase "sassy and irreverent" makes me want to beat Hewitt with a pillow case full of door knobs more than ever before.

Judging by the promo poster there is a black person in 1st millenia England. That really is magical!

You guys forget Shia LeBeouf and every film he's ever been in, all of which happen to be god-awful pieces of shit. Here's to Transformer 2 being his last film, whether through death or some other means!

How badly could they have been paying her if she could afford a stained-glass window for her bedroom? I can't afford a stained-glass window. Still it's better than Uncle Phil's death in the show when they found him dead on the toilet from a heart-attack induced by his pill dependency.

At what point does the sheriff of a small Australian outback town make a bargain with Sandra Bullock that he won't execute her mentally challenged brother(Reynolds) if she hunts down and kills her other brother?

That's why you can't see the other side of his face in the poster. Also Jennifer Aniston's crotch is horribly burned leading to angry welts from scratching and an oily discharge. They're the original odd couple! Can love trump their different burns? You'll have to see the movie to find out!

If the black box is the only thing that survives a plane crash, why not make the whole plane out of the black box? What's the deal?

That clip simply reinforces what I've always said about putting together some sort of "Logan's Run"esque system to dispose of people over the age of 60. Perhaps we could also find a way to siphon the useful nutrients out of their bodies while we're at it.

I love American Apparel. Their ads on the back of my city's free newspapers are great masturbation material when I'm sitting on the bus.

I look forward to the day when an interviewer get around to asking the Duggars, "So you realize that if everyone were as fucking selfish as you to have 19 fucking kids that the world would be a hellish wasteland stripped of all food and resources? Right? You're fucking misanthropes and your advocacy of shitting out…

So does that commercial make it okay for me to drive my kid over to the Discount Lion Safari and drop him off in the woods there? It could potentially save me ten of thousands of dollars.

My New BFF Dubai? I sure hope a suicide bomber blows the shit out of her, the people on the show, and everyone involved with the production. Then the terrorists would finally be working for us.

I like to think that Captain Lou Albano died of auto-erotic asphyxiation in the same flop-house as Bob Crane.

I'd watch that show OrangeCrush, especially if it involved said family members being waterboarded with hot Starbucks coffee.

I'm pretty sure it would be Ra-Ra-Rampire Riot Weekend.

I can 't wait till the Scifi channel releases Super AIDs Vs. Mega Syphilis starring Bristol Palin next year.

Amelie, if the stress of writing a snarky post is getting too you so much why don't you just start posting nothing but expletive laden rants in all caps against people you hated in middle school? That'll get you out of the rat race quickly. I'm sure zodiac motherfucker would be happy to help you out.