Last week, on KBI: Wichita…

They had the choice of removing the obit or going over to his house with a pillow, and they picked the wrong option.

Would this "Ammons" family have been altogether ooky, by any chance?

The rumour that McDonald's burgers are made from cows' gees is just that. A rumour.

So it's basically Raffles?

The long downward spiral of misery, cruelty and abuse in the middle probably appeals to her, although I suppose the happy ending probably doesn't.

It says "I stuck a giant dildo on your back - signed: The Wicked Witch"

So Hollywood has finally taken my advice.
Jane Austen as you've never seen her before: In Space!

How many times will she have to hear "I AM NO MAN!" befire cracking?

My assumption is Hiddleston is Messala, not Ben Hur, because who wants to be Ben Hur?

Speaking of enraged chimpanzee, did he fling his faeces at the audience? Or is he saving that for the people's choice awards?

Who's going to play the comic sidekick, Lay-Z-Boy?

Not when they can wipe their asses with the Constitution!

Goddammit I have to stop reading these in the new, open-plan office.

It'll never replace shark-repellent BatSpray

I'm trying to imagine the combination of poison ivy and blue polyester fur - must be total hell.

I, for one, do not welcome the advent of Colin Farrell in a skirt.

You really want to clean up after this?

Aren't they supposed to be brothers? WTF?

On the other hand, how white can my shirts be?