In the words of Basil Fawlty: "you'll have to sew them back on first"!

In the words of Basil Fawlty: "you'll have to sew them back on first"!

It's obviously "cuntless".  I still can't visualise how she alternates genitals, however.  Is there a less sexy word than "genitals"?

It's obviously "cuntless".  I still can't visualise how she alternates genitals, however.  Is there a less sexy word than "genitals"?

Whoever called it "middlebrow handjob" must be a poor student of anatomy.

Whoever called it "middlebrow handjob" must be a poor student of anatomy.

Drake, duck.  Duck, Drake.

Drake, duck.  Duck, Drake.

What about "Yes, We Have No Bananas"?  I suppose I'm thinking of the scene in Sabrina where Bogart is playing it on his date with Audrey Hepburn - more like a sexual-awkwardness metaphor.

What about "Yes, We Have No Bananas"?  I suppose I'm thinking of the scene in Sabrina where Bogart is playing it on his date with Audrey Hepburn - more like a sexual-awkwardness metaphor.

Huh huh huh, you said "length".

Huh huh huh, you said "length".

I'm just old enough to remember the end of the double-feature era - cinemas used to show double features as a continuous programme which meant you could walk in in the middle of a picture, watch the end and the other feature then stay to catch the start of the first feature.  I remember doing this for Bedknobs and…

I'm just old enough to remember the end of the double-feature era - cinemas used to show double features as a continuous programme which meant you could walk in in the middle of a picture, watch the end and the other feature then stay to catch the start of the first feature.  I remember doing this for Bedknobs and…

Also there are no prizes for guessing what happens next when the guy says: "It's not going to burst into flames this time".  The guy who has set his deep fat fryer up on the wooden deck right beside his wooden house.

Also there are no prizes for guessing what happens next when the guy says: "It's not going to burst into flames this time".  The guy who has set his deep fat fryer up on the wooden deck right beside his wooden house.

Well I think my favourite line is the woman saying "it just got too hot" following by the camera panning to the deep fat fryer in flames.  I thought the knowledge 'flames = fire = burns! burns!' had come to us from our Paleolithic ancestors, but obviously it has failed to reach some people.

Well I think my favourite line is the woman saying "it just got too hot" following by the camera panning to the deep fat fryer in flames.  I thought the knowledge 'flames = fire = burns! burns!' had come to us from our Paleolithic ancestors, but obviously it has failed to reach some people.

And wasn't it a long way down?
wasn't it a strange way down?

And wasn't it a long way down?
wasn't it a strange way down?