Where's the Generalissimo?

In those days the non-porn parts of the internet probably fitted on a floppy.

The caption to that picture has to be " With malice towards none….. EXCEPT THE UNDEAD"

When I require an aperient, I swallow thirty feet of roller towelling and wait.

I think he needs to sack his PR guy, if "it's OK, Jeremy ran away and left his pal to be almost killed" is his idea of a good press release.  Being called "Jeremy" is bad enough.

"the variety enjoyed by modern American audiences" - you mean "white"?

On the other hand, I spent about 20 minutes in our local med centre waiting room recently waiting for our 4-year-old to be seen, and had to suffer through Disney channel for all that time.  The constant screaming, mugging, teen-crush plots and terminal smart-assery makes me understand why someone would want their kids…

The picture up top looks like the director wanted to compare the cast's rhinoplasties.

According to the swag list, Phipps has been monopolising the "massager".  Maybe he's just a bit too relaxed?

For the same reason that aliens need to use humans as living batteries instead of cattle or elephants or whatever.  Namely, gigantic hole in the basic premise.

Strip poker is probably even more advisable during a zombie apocalypse, since you can check whether any limbs come off when the garments do, and act accordingly.

novels make head hurt.  do like better look at internets

What are they going to take on next?  Christmas Pantos?  The character of Widow Twanky is obviously offensive to real-life transgendered laundresses.

I realise that no-one's going to read this, but my opinion is that the reason homosexuality isn't there is because it isn't there.  It's not as if Conan Doyle had difficulty introducing then-unmentionable sexual undertones in the stories - there's plenty of incest subtext in several of them.

House Burning Insurance?

Save that kind of behaviour for Wagner. 

Spraying with a water bottle doesn't sound like a strong argument against pissing on things.  More like an encouragement

How much VD are they allowed to have?

It's obviously a joke - there are so few Co(h)ens in Hollywood that you'd assume you got the good ones?

The power of Boobs compels him.