I think setting your romantic comedy on the peak day for suicide was probably a mistake.

The photo makes it look like the not-safe-for-basic-cable remake of Blue Lagoon.

Tell her she got Jane Austen TOTALLY WRONG and then lecture her about Austen's foundational achievements in the English novel for the next half hour.  Throw in a joke along the lines of - "and of course, she didn't learn about Tom Jones from her boyfriend"!  That will show her that you are a serious person who has…

Broken Crowns: Jack and Jill Requiem

You had a double mastectomy ten years ago?

When you say "did that very thing" you mean somnosex, right?

Muppets - check
Sesame Street - check
No Elmo - SOLD!

Zack needs a couple of drinks and a good night's sleep after this - he gets almost incoherent with rage in the middle.

For fuck's sake!  Manatees haven't worn hats since the 1940s.  No style has suited them since the fedora went out of fashion.

What a picture.  When was Graham Norton plasticised?

So it's going to be sparkly vampires in tights?

Even in 1912, nobody gave two shits about South Dakota.

Mother of Mercy!  Are EDwaN and PM the same person?

Yeah, I'm afraid he might turn into the AV Club version of Tyler Perry.  "Todd Van der Werf's review of Todd Van der Werf's TV Classic choice by Todd Van der Werf in Todd Van der Werf's AV Club"

So "fulfilled his duty as a boyfriend" means he had to fake epilepsy in order to avoid cunnilingus"?

They don't use "doubleplus unperson" any more?

Well, my 4.5 year old always ends with the punch line "on top of your head!", upon which she falls around laughing hysterically.  It's still funnier than Shue/shoe, however.

I'm glad they dropped the original title: Little mermaid 2: gettin' more tail.

Who you calling cunt, cunt?

No, but The Cure was worse than it, apparently.