I've never seen a greater, quicker turnaround from being so utterly and spitefully fucking OWNED to enacting such a complete and explosive act of OWNAGE right the fuck back.

Melted Kojak Reacts To The Final 15 Minutes Of Whiplash, Using Only Simpsons GIFs Because He Is Currently Speechless

Melted Kojak Reacts To The Final 15 Minutes Of Whiplash, Using Only Simpsons GIFs Because He Is Currently Speechless

Close. I'm actually the ghost of 18th century Czech composer Frantisek Kotzwara. But keep that on the down low, will ya?

Personally, I like to be choked by strippers, so I find that a belt comes in handy in such situations.

God damn, that is very disturbing.

Yikes, that really happened? God, people are dumb.

It's a disturbingly common misconception that seems to know no political affiliation.

Gerry Blargeaux • an hour ago
Rogen and Moore love The Onion's Starfucker Saloon where they get their salad tossed for free.

OH THANK GOD EGE IS BACK FOR REAL

pulp, right now

DISQUS
How can you kill something that's already dead?

"Can we all just agree that Disqus should die in a fire?" - The Entire Audio Visual Club Of The Onion And All Its Holdings

"NEVER merge your AV Club account with Disqus!" - Scrawler, AV Club

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU BALD BRITISH SOCCER PLAYING CAN OF OKRA??

Fun Facts About Melted Kojak, Super Time, GO!

He clearly wrote this before Ahmad Bradshaw's ass-first flop into the end zone, which would have put most soccer players' flops to shame.

Zero fucks given
This is BLIZZARD LIVIN'

Just sing your heart's song, SBT!

He needs to grow another six arms if he wants his Mortal Kombat skills to progress, though.