Nah, they just get together with some other folks in a bar and sing "Sweet Caroline" off-key.

Keira Knightley as an MPDG?  I'm in!

Keira Knightley as an MPDG?  I'm in!

It's strangely comforting to find out that this movie sucks just as bad as I knew it would.

It's strangely comforting to find out that this movie sucks just as bad as I knew it would.

If downloading Maria Ozawa porn is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Wupload, bitches.

They don't pay him.  He's been living for years in a broom closet at AVC headquarters, subsisting off of Taste Test samples and whatever he can find in the garbage can in Nathan Rabin's office.  They only let him do Newswire to keep him from constantly going from desk to desk, begging for spare change.

Not a single mention of the Spongebob theme?  I've used that a couple of times — very effective.  Sometimes just the threat of it can affect people's behavior.

I'm just relieved she isn't Simon's daughter.  One generation of Duran Duran is enough.

The "Marcia Cross unhinged her jaw" line made my week, and also served as an antidote to those awful Napoleon Dynamite ads you guys are running.  Thank you, Sean O'Neal.  Thank you.

Wait — I thought a poor family being thrown onto the street was a Republican's wet dream.

Two tickets.

I would've preferred Seagal, myself, but apparently he's too busy in law enforcement right now.

As juicy as a cauliflower ear can be.

They were filming overseas, and Wesley's ankle bracelet kept setting off the airport security detectors … it was all just a big mess.

If you don't listen to rap/pop music, then the terrorists have won.

Swim!  Hammerhead!

He doesn't have to for career reasons, but maybe he does it to stay busy so he's not tempted back to the opium dens.  In which case, good on ya, Bob.

DO NOT WANT!!!!!!!