I'd let her give me a foot job.

I propose we make it legal to punch Kanye in his stupid chipmunk face.

Guys guys guys, why is no one reporting on the biggest news of the day?

You suck.

Check out my 'za:

The Avengers was shit. Pure and simple.

Check out my blog:

Snob.

Congratulations, you're a dipshit.

Yay.

I took my Sluggos to see Monsters University, but they begged me to leave after 5 minutes because it was "too gay" (their words, not mine).

Why read books when you can peek at my Twitter:

2017? The superhero fad will be dead by then.

So what? I've been banned practically every week for the past 6 months. You don't see me crying.

No pop-culture for me this week, chums.

National hero.

I'd rather shoot Neil Patrick Harris between the eyes.

You're in luck:

I said she gives great blowjobs. In what universe is that not a compliment?

Because he's a titanic retard.