I hear he was a big Softee.

…And nothing of value was lost.

Shit, most Americans wouldn't even get that right.

That's what my mom said! It still scared the fuck outta me.

Is he sleazy? Sure. Inappropriate? Absolutely. But if his appearances on The Surreal Life are to be believed, he doesn't seem like a bad person at all. He even hit it off with an initially-wary Tammy Faye Bakker.

Also, you don't get to choose your own nickname and then constantly refer to yourself as that in the third person.

Time saver, my ass!

That's the one.

Why not? He was a great stand up in his day. I can still quote his "American Jews vs. Israeli Jews" bit from the first Comics Come Home special.

It's almost as if they have no talent or original ideas at all…

Draft dodging is fine, as long as you don't go on to become a warmonger yourself.

We like Roy!

That song is only like 20 seconds long. You gotta go for something longer, like "Expose Yourself to Kids" or "Needle Up My Cock."

Directed by Chazz Palminteri.

Absolutely.

You're thinking of The Gorch.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy works wonders, and is the only thing that's ever helped me.

Nothin' but Cheap Trick and The Best Show for me.

"Stop! You're murdering that song!"

When did rappers and R&B singers all start dressing like they were in Discharge?