Man, I loved that movie, but seeing it in the theater was both one of the best and worst movie-going experiences of my life. Best, because I was rapt in awe and on the verge of tears for a lot of it. Worst, because of the people around me laughing and saying things like, "What the hell is going on?" at full volume. …

Username/comment synergy is off the charts on this one.

He'd need a hammer and chisel.

I have holes in my shoes and last night I stepped in gravy. I wasn't wearing socks, either.

Yeah. And who the fuck are these people that have so much to talk about before 9:00 a.m.?

Exactamundo.

Ewwww

Rusty Menorah would be my favorite Jewish sex act, if it wasn't for the Jerusalem Steamer.

I feel like there's no way that Trump didn't pick McMaster because of his name "Ooh, McMaster. I like the sound of that."

That's the one where you build and then live in a hut, right?

Tell me more about this grandmother-shoving policy…

It's true! The one on the ground-floor of my building has a line out the door every single day. In San Francisco!

That's insane! I would punch any member of my Jewish family if they spouted that garbage.

But this one comes with a new hat!

AKA Hollywood Upstairs Bible College.

No, this is a real story. I would never joke about something so serious.

It's pronounced, "bas-tihd."

Don't be too impressed. A couple of years ago, he was arrested after getting into a fight at a tanning salon.

Co-signed on Bamford! Also, Dana Gould, Eddie Pepitone, Rick Shapiro, off the top of my head.

Upvoted for the horrific memory