"If you had a band you probably opened for a band better than you deserved to." And there's my entire performing career, boiled down into one sentence.

H8er 2: The Final Lopezening

Lucky you, Actually considering driving up to Oakland for this. Hell, I could fly first-class and it would still be far cheaper.

I have nothing against Coachella. I've been five times, and had fantastic experiences at each one. When you're in your 20s and live in LA, Coachella might as well be Christmas.

Looks like the cows have come home to roost.

I guess what really scares me is the notion that Bieber has all these subtle codes to secretly communicate messages to his core fans. Surely there's some innocuous word that, when tweeted by Biebs, will quickly set the final purge in motion.

Would highly advise clicking on that "not actually retiring from music" link, as it contains this absolute gem of a press statement:

In my defense, I really, really wanted to use "hardcore Bomerism" somewhere.

"Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it."

I still think one of the weirdest aspects of this whole brouhaha is the fact that 50 Shades fans are so steadfast and united in their support for Matt Bomer in the role. Perhaps I'm out of the loop, but I had never heard the name Matt Bomer before it started swirling around 50 Shades. I looked up his picture, still…

Completely agree. The Kanye Issue is one of those topics where it feels bizarrely dangerous to express moderate, measured appreciation. It's always either "he's the new Quincy Jones" or "he's everything that's wrong with America."

We used to call it exactly the same thing in my high school garage band days. The good ol' trusty "T-progression." 

"Of course I'd like to sit around and chat…but someone's listening in…"

"…every track sounds like it could have been recorded during the original 3030 sessions."

Pretty much. I mean, it's not like it's an easy thing to sound like Fleetwood Mac, with or without the songs, so hats off for that. 

He is. But it's still a horrible, horrible verse.

1996 Jay-Z:
One day you're cruising in your seven, next day you're sweating
Forgetting your lies, alibis ain't matching up
Bullshit catching up
Hit with the RICO, they repo'd your vehicle
Everything was all good just a week ago
About to start bitchin' ain't you?
Ready to start snitchin' ain't you
I'll forgive your weak ass,…

I actually attempted to watch this show, though I didn't last long. My first impression was that "Million Second Quiz" was to "Jeopardy" as Calvinball is to baseball. But then I remembered that Calvinball actually seems like it would be fun to play, and isn't constantly trying to sell me something.

But…they absolutely were that. That's an essential element of their sound. It took me a bit to get into the Replacements myself, primarily because the band's lack of focus and amateurism seemed to constantly be derailing Westerberg's obviously brilliant songwriting. I eventually "got it," but I think that's a key…

Same here — like two weeks ago. Why either of us were suddenly interested in an old Cold War spy novel I have no idea, but what a fantastic book.