It's because the Bauers are descended from poor Okie dirt farmers who migrated to California during the Dust Bowl. That's how ole' Great-grandpa Zeke Bauer pronounced it and I'll tan my own hide if that ain't how Jack gunna say it, I reckon.

…killlllll…meeeee…….
…pleeeease…killlllllllll mmeeeeeeee…………….

There's the old story that on the set of Chasing Amy, Ben Affleck ad libbed so much that Smith said "You know what, Affleck? If you're so keen on making up dialogue, why don't you write your own script?"

Agreed. Freckles FTW.

Lone Audience, I fantasized about the two of us meeting in a steamy bath house. We strike up an innocent enough conversation about current events. I notice that he begins scooting himself closer and closer to my position as the talk grows more intimate, more…penatrative. Before I know it, we're touching and he…

I schedule masturbation based entirely on AV Club interviews. It just keeps it interesting.

Portia de Rossi is a straight man's evidence of a cruel, cruel God.

Maybe they'll have a quickie between episodes!

"Coward"? I don't think anyone's accusing Jack of showing a degree of bravery in his choking of a federal official to keep his girlfriend out of jail. You'd probably be better off labeling him a violent misogynist or something. He'd be a coward if he beat up on this poor (bitchy) woman and hadn't already wasted 10 or…

Wait, Letterman DIDN'T kill a bunch of people?

Commando Bill was my favorite character for some reason. Maybe because he was head of CTU for an inexplicably long time, most of them die or are permanently removed by the end of the season. He went 3.5 or something! That's incredible!

Eww! Gay!
http://www.switchbladecomb….

He's no Pharaoh, man.

What do you mean "YOU people"?

Why do we hate Sarah Palin? Because she's a horrible cunt who should die of AIDS.

Did you know
Wallis Simpson and Prince Edward couldn't have kids because Simpson had a botched abortion after getting knocked up by Mussolini's son? It's true! Nazis!

Is it just me?
Or is the bass tuned all the way down? Are they hazing their new guy after their original bassist died in a horrible bus crash in Denmark? I hope so.

Shutter Island?
You brought her!

Big floppy donkey dick?

Everything Vagrant Records puts out IS awesome
TGUK 'til I die.