Medical flub
I know it's nerdy of me, but the funniest part of that show was when they showed House's prescription bottle for Zolpidem 200mg 3 times daily. That's 60 times the maximum dose.

Denzel Washington
Apparently about the same time as John Q, Denzel was in a broadway production of Julius Caesar that got universally terrible reviews. So, strike two.

Someone needs to proof-read those press releases
He spent hours "pouring" over those recordings?

Allison
Is anyone here surprised that Allison got all of her singing experience at the Mexican Costco?

Scott
I know Scott's blind, but what's his barber's excuse?

Black Horse and the Cherry Tree
So the judges obviously knew before they even picked the wild card people who was going to go through, and they had to come up with some horseshit critiques to make their choices seem based on the performance. But Megan sucked. I'm no fan of Katherine McPhee, but compare tonight's…

New name
Every critique is coming down to who chose a good song and who chose a bad song. I think they should change the name of the show to "American D.J." Every week the contestants should just come out and read the name of the song they picked.

And how does someone from Puerto Rico have a Bulgarian accent anyway?

Is it just me, or was that whole bit just 7 minutes of product placement? I mean, I know they're not selling fish bowls, but the lawnmower and printer had more elaborate introductions than The Price Is Right. I'm sure some money changed hands there.

I Wanna Dance With Somebody
Who said that no one can do that song without sounding like a second-rate Whitney Houston?

Obviously it's a double-bluff. We've had six years experience seeing that the person that looks most guilty always turns out to be blameless. At this point, the best way to shock anyone with a revelation of guilt is to telegraph their evil as early as possible.

Tattoo Girl
So now, rather than being forced to sit in an office, she'll be forced to stand behind the counter of a Jamba Juice when she's 50.

Henchman
Maybe it's just my imagination, but I'm pretty sure Emerson's last surviving henchman is Adam Levine from Maroon 5.

Poetic Justice
I kept hoping in the first segment that when OJ opened the door to the guy whose wife he was screwing, the guy would pull out a butcher knife and stab OJ in the chest a bunch of times.

Irene Adler > Rebecca Adler. Both the name and the circumstance were more dead on in this case than the pilot.

Clinic duty
It's nice to see House back in clinic duty. And with a brilliant twist—that was probably the funniest scene since the first season. It's nice to see that the writers have found their sense of humor.

Irene Adler
The most blatant Holmes parallel yet. Well done.

Orson Scott Card
Back in 1979, Orson Scott Card wrote a magnificent little short story called "A Cross-Country Trip to Kill Richard Nixon." One of his most memorable works, and well worth the trouble of digging up.

Axl's problem
Maybe if he hadn't done a half-assed job just to rush it out for the holidays, it would have turned out better.

30-minute Apple ad
Even the computer that Homer accessed in the terrorist's house had a conspicuously Apple-ish desktop.