Probably emulsified donkey semen.

All professional donkey semen harvesters use "Stretch Armstrong" official action figure to keep their grip supple and strong.

Only if you'd been willing for it to be televised to an audience of millions.  What you did on your honeymoon doesn't count.

Beth Littleford "harvested" boar semen during her halcyon days at Comedy Central, and look where she is now!  Seriously, where is she now?  Is she still alive?

Better donkey semen than Joe Rogan semen.  I'll bet that shit could eat through depleted uranium.

Not to mention the damage that will be done to your credit rating…

Perhaps if we built a large, wooden badger…

Perhaps if we built a large, wooden badger…

I unclog my nose at your dinner table!  You English kuhniggets!

No!  We're the People's Front of Judea!

Bloody peasant!

My favorite bit is the rejoicing occasioned by the eating of Sir Robin's minstrels.

"You maladorous heap of parrot droppings!"

"I could just be arguing on my own time."

"Can't I have just a little bit of the peril?"

"If You Like Hand-Puppet Bukkake Theatre," by Scott O'Niell.

Why is this thing being allowed to die such a horrible, lingering death?  In a truly just world, it would have been given a brain stem shot well before Thanksgiving last.

I want to preorder NOW, GODDAMMIT!!!!

You're disappointed?  I was hoping for a picture of Heidi Sorenson. 

It's still going to have lots of just-barely-sublimated sadomasochistic homoeroticism, right?