Can't she rely on the "Bitches Be Crazy" defense?

"It was the best of hard ons, it was the.. BLURST of hard ons? YOU STUPID MONKEY!"

"They were actually two Starbucks, across the street from each other."

She looks great as a brunette. "Me Without You" is another brunette performance, AND with a saleable British accent. She's got the charms, that one.

House shoes are the perfect kind of Christmas present - something that is actually useful, but not necessarily what you would freely spend your money on.

Watched both episodes of 24/7 Penguins-Capitols and the "Pod People" episode of MST3K. ("Idiot Control now!")

Gave: To roommate, first two seasons of "The Adventures of Pete and Pete"
To boyfriend: Three-CD Johnny Cash-Sun Records collection and the combined Minor Threat EPs on vinyl
Got: The AV Club Inventory book and the new Amy Sedaris. A wireless mouse. The furry edition of the Dave Eggers novelization of "Where the Wild…

Menses are the worst, amirite, ladies? Almost as bad as when your HUSBAND doesn't WASH THE DISHES? RIGHT? HAHAHAHAHA

These productions make smoking look way less harmful!

I once got giggly and nervous around a magazine cover featuring Christian Bale. I kid you not. He's unnervingly handsome.

I'm really, really impressed with all of you. I mean that. Merry Christmas!

Animals want to learn how to talk so they can hang out with him!

Tell me about your big but, Simone

A gift certificate to Outback Steak House?

She forgot to bring her eyedrops into work. Happens to me all the time.

I am Dr. Octopus
I am going to sock your puss!

How high does the body count have to be before you stop finding this amusing?

I'm Spider-Man!

I thought Paul Rudd had finally been convicted for murdering that hooker back in '07.

Personally, I like to wear my Sonic Flower Groove underwear while trapped under large rocks.