I'm not taking the bait, fatvirgin. You're playing a long game, and I respect it. But more importantly, I respect the strategy.

1) Dexter's gratuitous voice-over approached singularity this week as it announced I HAVE TO HIDE EVIDENCE as he hides evidence. Computers continue to make kickass sounds. The Delete function sounds like a kitten purring backwards.

I was first sold on Breaking Bad when someone described it as "What Dexter thinks it is." This was during Season 3 of Dexter. They've been linked ever since.

"God
is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a
car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is
giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel
God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me
middle fingers and a damned difficult…

Honestly, I've rarely found Breaking Bad to be depressing just because the whole show is made with such passion and joy that it rarely feels exhausting. Tonight was the exception, but in general, even the darkest moments are infused with energy.

No.

I was thinking exactly that. Mustard gas—sorry, phosphene gas—bomb right in his creepy manbaby face.

You can tell this is a reality show by the Flying-V Of Assertive Hand Positioning. You've got the Michael Corelone Front Crotch Diamond, the Cake Boss Folded Arms of Defiance, and the I'm Here Too.

My internet was cut this weekend so I couldn't catch tonight's episode, or even that Other Show. I drunkenly wandered up and down Burbank looking for reliable Wi-Fi and failed. The fault is mine and mine alone.

I've been following his rampage on Twitter and I don't see how any of this proves anything besides the fact that Aaron Paul is awesome.

it's supernatural in the sense that Dexter has magical hacking skills that give him access to a database with every piece of information in human history.

We are pretty great.

Just use food coloring. You know, like salmoln.

Look fellas, I know Dexter's labyrinthe plotting can be hard to follow sometimes, but remember: He has to kill Saxon, THEN fly to Argentina. Saxon, Argentina. The sooner Saxon is dead the sooner Dexter can move to Argentina. He cannot fly to Argentina first and then kill Saxon later; that would be so weird.

It's ironic that LittleMissSmartyPants went through the effort of properly formatting her post with the IPA, only to blow it on the misapplication of an already hackneyed joke.

That was my job as a teenager and I ejected people regularly and with relish.

Drugs are a helluva drug.

No, in this case he's got a point. This was a sleazy move by Apple, and most people don't have the time or the resources to file a lawsuit against the world's largest corporation. It's unfair to punish the filmmakers, yes, but it's also unfair to double-charge the consumer. But since they already paid for their fair…

A friend of mine knows the people organizing said screening at Hollywood Forever cemetery and is currently trying to finagle me a guest pass. I had no idea it was officially sponsored by the show. Now he'd better finagle twice as hard.

Hannah: "Careful Dex. The sooner you kill Saxon, the sooner we can go to Argentina!"