I think the word "surprise" needs a lot more """""""sarcastic air quotes""""""" around it.

Yeah, remember how she was supposed to be there temporarily helping Miami Metro solve one case yet already bought a palatial beachfront mansion and spends about as much time working for the cops as Dexter?

All that bundling works up a thirst.

This season made me realize that half of Miami's murders are the result of lazy therapists saying "fuck it, he's a serial killer" after like three months of trying to treat a toddler who keeps shoving his playmates. Wasn't Dexter, like, a year old when he saw his mom die? Maybe he turned into a homicidal maniac…

Maybe this whole series will turn out to be a brilliant metacommentary on how the writers themselves are psychopaths, and their constant use of disposable human lives as mechanical tools that exist solely to serve the plot's selfish ends is actually satirizing the hollowness of our relationship with fictitious…

Don't be so pessimistic. This could be a load-bearing element of the plot. Maybe Masuka's daughter will fall in love with Dexter and Accept Him For Who He Is, leading to organic, long-term growth in Dexter's character.

"Yes, we can roll our eyes at the unlikelihood that the main character would perish midway through the season"

He's an unnamed character who doesn't work for Miami Metro Homicide and isn't fucking Deb. There's a 1 in 1 chance he's a serial killer whose gimmick is rescuing drowning victims.

"Elaine Reid My favorite character is DETECTIVE ANGIE MILLER!"—An actual human being.

I don't understand, are you saying there was a time The Atlantic talked about things besides Twitter and Millennials?

This is all the worse because I can perfectly visualize this "cleverly" being set to the main theme, complete with a final sparkling wink at the camera.

You mean like a stakeout? You watch too much television, city boy.

LaGuerta and Deb literally had a screaming match, on camera, in front of a half-dozen cops, about Dexter framing Doakes for being the Bay Harbor Butcher, a few days before LaGuerta was found murdered during the two-hour period Deb was missing from Angel's New Year's Party.

Angel would be one of those owners on Kitchen Knightmares who's 165k in debt, and when Gordon Ramsay asks what his background is, replies with a weak smile and "Well, mom liked too cook…"

Because a Chucky doll possessed by the ghost of Minotaur Man would be way better.

No no psychopaths are people who cut you up with chainsaws and dress like minotaurs, are you dumb or something???

Because the Internet is about friendship:

They were never scary, but the first couple were at least viscerally entertaining. At the very least, you were guaranteed to watch a midget dressed as Chucky get shot, stabbed, immolated, defenestrated, crucified, and quartered.

*establishing shot of inexplicably palatial home, family moving in*

Name one way this is different from PTA's Magnolia.