I miss Videocracy firsties and the double helping of vitriol that followed.

Signs it was made in 1978
Newspapers exist.

Sorry I missed that
Fergie "massaged a hump during the performance"? I can't picture what that means, but surely it's freaky/entertaining enough to merit an A. Or icky enough to merit an F.

Listen to your friend Billy Zane, Flunky— he's a cool dude.

You can put your indignation back in the holster, Karla. Most Christians are clearly lovely folk, but this particular one just struck me as the sort of crazy fuck who's spent a lifetime learning that anyone unfamiliar is to be feared/pitied/converted. It's a harsh judgment about a person I've never
met, because…

Missed Opportunity
I'm disappointed AI didn't seize the opportunity to see fundamentalist Miley Cyrus on group night. How could anyone pass on the chance to put her on a team with a gay guy, an unwed mother, and a minority, so she can smile with all her teeth and tell them all they'll burn in hell?

It's like Tim Burton's Oompa-Loompas!
But with more killing.

I assume Ronnie's MTV contract includes a pretty strict "not the face" clause. During the filming season, he's only allowed to bruise Sammi below the cleavage.

She probably should have gone with blackface (tastefully done, of course) to really sell the costume.

Bushwick Bill.

Incest warning!?
It's bad enough that Gemma can't bother warning her son that he's edging dangerously close to incest. But Clay can't say anything? The girl's mother?
I thought the priest, who seems to know everything, might tell Jax not to bone his sister— it seems like the Christian thing to do— but I guess I don't…

A terrible slight to penis jokes
Sure, this particular penis joke-based story was badly executed, but let's not make generalizations we'll later regret. Dick jokes are certainly enough to sustain ANY story.

I give you crappy Werther's Original candy on Halloween.

Mel will show up drunk and confused
And after disabling Jon Hamm with a dog whistle, will bash the shit out of him with a giant hammer.

I like the hot magazine cover version of Tina Fey as much as the next guy, but I suspect there were perfectly good reasons for the boys to ignore her in high school.

Rich douchebags get the kind of artificial insemination that happens in a controlled, sanitary environment. Regular working folks like Jennifer Aniston (I guess) get the kind of artificial insemination where a drunken frat boy squeezes one into a red Solo cup behind the 7-11. It only costs a six-pack of Natty Ice,…

I, for one,
Am not at all surprised by the hilariousness of T-Pain.

A brief excerpt from Squidge
From Spock's wet dream about Kirk:

I, for one, applaud Coldstream for pasting his seven-word comment because it was too long to type again.

I think the real Kanye would see J.C. from New York Undercover.