BARSOOM NEEDS JOHN CARTER'S MOM

BARSOOM NEEDS JOHN CARTER'S MOM

And not awesome-goofy, like Benedict Cumberbatch.

I'll always remember him as Special Agent Charlie Brown in 24.

Wait, I didn't finish.

The Office is the Terri Schiavo of sitcoms.

Seth MacFarlane is a national treasure.

That's a little cornball.

I'll hold out for the inevitable gritty reboots.

Hang up the slave habit
Hang it up massuh
Or you'll never get another lynch

C'mon, Dish. Be honest. We all know you're just pissed about the whole Walt-poisoning-Brock-with-berries thing.

Because it's not 1985?

I'm pretty sure the Bugles product placement will cover Mad Men's production costs from now until the end of time.

I really hope this is a remake of "Hello, Stepson. Now Let's Go to Bed. I Went to Bed With My Stepson: The Laura Bangle-Covington Story."

"Yo, focus group me, bitch!"

I'm far more offended by his performance in Two and a Half Men, which is terribly insulting to half-men like myself.

I just do my best to pretend that The Office ended with the Season 3 finale.

How about Murphy Black, starring Alfre Woodard?

I read it as Bobcat Goldthwait.

WARNING: This product can cause mouth cancer.