Ip Man! You will not be a true warrior until you defeat the Transmission Control Protocol!

"You know what your problem is, Rush? You're always in a rush! You need to stop rushing everywhere!"

You'll wind up in a freak wharf.

There's also the problematic fact that Rocky would have gotten hella murdered running up North Broad in 1979.

In Philly, if you run for any other reason than to be better able to inflict violence on someone, you're liable to get your ass kicked. It's just a token.

Strippers culled from the cast of Up With People's performance from the 1976 Steelers/Cowboys game. In fact, bring 'em all back. Let the wreckage of humanity teach America a lesson.

Things got real ugly about 20 hours in. Patty Scialfa bled to death through what had been her fingertips.

We recognize a pointless enterprise when we see one?

In that case, it should be The Monkees, Gorillaz, and The Archies. Fake bands for a stadium named after a fake school.

Is there any other way to fornicate?

Press X to Wait!

Like so many other things, The Simpsons' "Non-union (South American) equivalent" has just become a fact of our world. We just need Fox to start showing hardcore porn and the prophecy will be complete.

Every year I'm more stricken by how those terrible games have become the default vampire mythology.

I have a confession for you all. I am the Vampire King of New Orleans. It's mostly ceremonial. You haven't had to be a real vampire for years. Also they won't let us parade anymore because we won't integrate.

Related to Stephen.

Don Henley is essentially one of those monsters from "Doctor Who."

I always think this song is by Huey Lewis. As soon as I close this page, I will go back to thinking that.

LA scene trivia: The Go-Gos formed because DJ Bonebrake stopped playing with Jane Wiedlin to join X. He made the right choice.

"Lindelof" sounds like a thoroughly disgusting food eaten by northern Europeans, presumably containing pickled fish.

"Damn that Commander Lyme!' Said the disapproving male authority figure. 'She makes my joints ache.' Meanwhile multiple cute boys continued to fret nobly over Katniss."