Black Samurai is everything a movie should be. RIP

All right, perfect, no more liking.

She was the bad guy's lieutenant.

Yeah, but the problem is that the memorable "descent into hell" scenes are now entire movies. It's the same problem the Evil Dead remake faced in that it can't really be anything but a reflection on the things the original inspired.

Elizabeth Pena was so hot in Jacobs Ladder she gave me a boner in The Incredibles. This is how people wind up with wierd fetishes that are only satisfied in cheap hotel rooms next to comic book conventions.

You see, lizards don't have penises like humans, instead they have a hemipenis located inside GET HIM HE KNOWS

No, look, that's just something called "confirmation bias." Because you're looking for the number 23, you see GET HIM HE KNOWS!

Jacob's Ladder Two: He Was Dead the Whole Timealoo

If you can't get the plebs to watch the Rome they kind of remember from school, you're not going to get them to watch the totes indie Rome.

*single bead of sweat rolls down ElDan's forehead*

Most of them aren't related to the guy from Firefly, but are to Stephen?

The "hateful old man" role on Community is vacant, Alec.

Alice Baldwin's wife called somebody a twit at Gandalf's funeral? Oh, I don't care. Is Wheel of Fortune on?

The very idea that any sane human could spend more than 2 hours in the presence of Ethan Hawke beggars belief. 

Concentrating fat white racists onto a ship has been a development I've long supported. Now let's move onto Phase 2 of the Plan.

And AYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII… will always love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…

I already saw the other Franklin-Roosevelt's-piano-getting-hand-carved-and-blasting movie. It wasn't very good.

Don't stick your dick in goop.

"We're reviving the first wife of Newt Gingrich so that she can rip his dick off for plowing his secretary while she was on her deathbed."

Sadly, orbiting space lasers and legal sex with minors are still in the realm of science fiction.